How can I convince my boyfriend to take dance lessons?

Q: I have a problem. I really want my boyfriend to take dance lessons with me, but he refuses. How can I convince him to take dance lessons, and why is he being this way?

A: You’ll need to talk your boyfriend and find out why he’s so against taking dance lessons. There could be many different reasons. Here are my thoughts on the matter.

Your boyfriend might think he’s uncoordinated and therefore, won’t be a good dancer. Try encouraging him and tell him you think he will be a wonderful dancer. If the two of you do in fact take lessons, go slow, and don’t get mad if he messes up or steps on your feet.

Be understanding and praise his dancing skills. Your patience and good nature will make him want to keep learning new dance moves with you.

Second, he may not want to take lessons, because he could have the misconception that dancing isn’t manly. To prove him wrong, pull up clips on YouTube of Emmitt Smith and Lawrence Taylor on “Dancing with the Stars.” Seeing manly football players dance up a storm will show your boyfriend that real men can dance.

Here’s another tip that might help. If he agrees to take lessons, let him pick the type of dance you will learn (Salsa, ballroom, Latin or swing). There may be one that he will feel the most comfortable with, and he’ll appreciate you including him in the decision.

Hopefully, talking to him will help to address his concerns and he’ll agree to learn to dance with you. Learning to dance is an excellent way for a couple to bond. Any new activity or skill helps two people learn to work together.

I also think that it’s important for both partners in a relationship to share each other’s interests and hobbies. After the dance lessons, it’s very important to show your man appreciation by participating in an activity of his choice.

Perhaps, take him to a Dayton Dragons baseball game or go to a car show with him. It’ll show him that you are willing to take turns and he’ll see what an awesome girlfriend he has.

The bottom line: Talk to him to find out why he’s so against taking dance lessons. Then address his concerns and tell him why dancing would be fun. Also, be sure to mention your willingness to try an activity he likes.

Man’s Perspective:

The reasoning is simple, there are few activities that run the risk of making a man look as stupid as dancing does. Water skiing, riding a unicycle and wearing mandals all compete but dancing can take a man’s rep down faster than anything else on Earth.

Try to not take it personally. I’m sure his refusal to go dancing with you doesn’t have anything to do with you. It’s most likely a self-conscious decision that most guys would make.

The best thing you can do if you’re really trying to convince him to go out dancing with you is to present it in another way, like simply going out for the night. You show up to a place with a bar and it will most likely have dancing as well so half the battle is already won.

Also, when you mention “going dancing,” you have to be careful which type of dancing it is. Ballroom or salsa dancing is most likely going to be intimidating because we’re not all Emmitt Smith on the dance floor.

Your last effort might be to dance with a guy who is willing to participate and make your boyfriend jealous. If he really cares about you, he will be brushing up on his waltz in no time.